Outlife Review (09/20/20)
The Nine Lives of Salomon’s Outlife Bottle
I was impressed by Salomon’s audacity to declare the superiority of their new hydration-supporting product directly in its name. While “outlife” has not yet been defined by the Oxford English Dictionary, “outlive” means to “survive or last beyond.” Ha, I thought, is the bottle really that special? I have always operated under the adage “trust but verify”, so I decided to run the bottle through a series of stress tests to see if Salomon’s bottle could really “survive” in the 21st century. Inspired by the ability of cats to endure nine lives, I devised a set of nine real-life scenarios any average person would want their water bottle to survive:
- You are hosting a BBQ on your second-story balcony, and the neighbor’s kid knocks the water bottle off the railing.
- Your dog has the zoomies and decides the bottle is its new toy.
- You set the bottle on top of your car as you were loading up, certain you would remember it before driving off…
- You were running late for work and threw all your items on top of the bottle in your bag.
- You left the bottle on the couch, promptly forgot, and then sat on the couch.
- You tripped walking down the stairs, and in an act of panic, released your water bottle.
- You were in the heat all day, became parched, and needed to chug 18 oz of water.
- You remembered you had not watered your plants in over a week and needed to quickly inject them with a stream of water.
- In an inebriated state, you signed up for a community juggling competition, only to remember the next day that you’ve never juggled in your life. You decide water bottles are the appropriate item to practice with.
Yes, dear reader, you are correct in thinking that I did spend 30 minutes of my Saturday testing these scenarios. I am pleased to report that the Outlife Bottle did indeed survive all the tests. This is not only great for the review but also for my wallet, as I can happily say I will not need to purchase a replacement water bottle (although I will probably buy another Outlife Bottle given this stellar performance). Below is the photographic evidence of the results, along with before and after pictures :
Photo 1: Outlife Bottle before being subjected to stressful situations.
Photo 2: Outlife Bottle surviving your neighbor’s kid (scenario 1).
Photo 3: Outlife Bottle surviving your dog (scenario 2).
Photo 4: Outlife Bottle surviving your forgetfulness (scenario 3).
Photo 5: Outlife Bottle surviving your bag (scenario 4).
Photo 6: Outlife Bottle surviving your bottom (scenario 5).
Photo 7: Outlife Bottle surviving your fall (scenario 6).
Photo 8: Outlife Bottle surviving your thirst (scenario 7).
Photo 9: Outlife Bottle surviving your negligence (scenario 8).
Photo 10: Outlife Bottle surviving your lack of talent (scenario 9).
Photo 11: Outlife Bottle after being subjected to stressful situations.
All jokes aside, Salomon did an amazing job with the Outlife Bottle. Not only is it durable, but the bottle is super convenient to bring on many outdoor adventures. You can clip the bottle to your bag for easy travel, the mouthpiece has a protective cap and is easy to drink from, and the bottle compresses down once empty. I decided one bottle was not enough, so now I have three, and I highly recommend giving this product a try if you are in the market for new water bottles.
[Scenario 2] My dog did not want to chew on the water bottle, so I am counting that as passing this scenario.